Formal Letter

Dear Professor Brad,

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to you. My name is Goh Xin Chun. I am currently an undergraduate student  at Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) pursuing telematics. I graduated from Republic Polytechnic (RP) with a diploma in business applications. Although I do not have an in-depth background in telematics, this does not hinder me from learning more engineering knowledge. My diploma is a hybrid business and IT related course which I have learnt programming, operating systems, financial and banking and many more other modules.

I hope to be a policy planner who can manage and plan transportation policies in public sector which benefits our nation and passengers.

Firstly, my strength is delivering my message well when presentation. During my polytechnic days in RP, all the students are required to work in a group and present their draft ideas to whole class at the end of lessons. This has allowed me to build up my communication skills as I required to think ideas logically.

However, my weakness is having a lot of grammar errors being spotted in a sentence. This will hinder me from getting high scores in essays or reports. Nevertheless, I will overcome my weakness so that I can score well for this module in SIT.

My goal is to enhance both my presentation and written skills. Furthermore, good presentation and written skills will secure me in getting a position for job.

In conclusion, it is essential to build up my communication skills now so that I can present to the audience confidently.

Once again, thank you for reading my introduction letter.

Yours sincerely,
Goh Xin Chun

(Edited version)

Comments

  1. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 18, 2017 at 7:08 PM

    Dear XC,

    Thanks a million for setting up your blog and making this early post of your formal letter. I really appreciate that. I look forward to reading it in more detail and commenting after your classmates have read it and commented.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownSeptember 23, 2017 at 12:49 AM

    Hello Xin Chun,

    I believe you know it too that you have made some grammar mistakes.
    I would like to recommend you using a grammar checking webpages or ask your partner to check on your work before publishing it.

    Best Regards,
    Liao Jungui Isaac

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownOctober 5, 2017 at 8:07 AM

      Dear Isaac,

      Thank you for spotting our my weaknesses. I will use grammar checking webpages or ask friends to check on my work before publishing it.

      Thank you.

      Yours sincerely
      Goh Xin Chun

      Delete
  3. JSeptember 25, 2017 at 2:19 AM

    Hello Xin Chun,
    It is nice to know you have such a noble dream of wanting to improve Singapore's transport policy. I believe you can always use online grammar tools to cross check if your grammars are correct. I am sure you will be able to improve on your grammar mistakes over the course of this module. All the best! :-)
    Regards,
    JingYi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownOctober 5, 2017 at 8:12 AM

      Dear JingYi,

      Thank you for praising that I have a dream of wanting to improve Singapore's transport policy.

      Will improve on my grammar!

      Thank you.

      Yours sincerely
      Goh Xin Chun

      Delete
  4. UnknownSeptember 25, 2017 at 5:49 AM

    Dear Xin Chun,

    Your self-introduction had a personal touch which linked your education background to your passion and similarly your goals to achieve eventually after this module. Practicing definitely will assist you in improving on your grammar and do keep up being motivated to excel in this module.

    Warm regards,
    Henry Tan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownOctober 5, 2017 at 8:19 AM

      Dear Henry,

      Thank you for the encourgement!

      Yours sincerely
      Goh Xin Chun

      Delete
  5. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 28, 2017 at 12:28 AM

    Dear XC,

    Thank you for this detailed self intro letter. You present the assigned topic areas and provide examples in your discussion of a communication strength and weakness, though not everything is crystal clear due to problematic language use, which you state as one of your comm skills problems. You do tie these points to your goals quite effectively.

    As for language use, here are a number of issues for your close consideration:

    1) My name is Goh Xin Chun and currently studying telematics at Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). >>> (problematic sentence structure) ?
    2) from learning more engineering knowledges >>> (odd wording/noncount noun) ?
    3) My diploma is a hybrid business and IT related course which I learnt programming, operating systems, financial and banking and many more modules. >>> (sentence structure)
    My diploma is a hybrid business and IT related course IN which I learnt programming, operating systems, financial and banking and many more modules.
    4) I hope to be a policy planner who can manage and plan transportation policies in public sector which benefits our nation and passengers. >>> (subject verb disagreement) ?
    5) to take up telematics course >>> (need for article) ?
    6) one of my strength >>> ?
    7) -- all the students required >>> (verb form problem)
    -- as I required to think logically. >>> (verb form problem)
    8) However, my weakness is unable to write reports or essays fluently. >>> huh? Your weakness is unable to do abc.... Then your weakness is very capable....
    9) There will be some grammar errors being spotted in a sentence . >>> YES
    10) Having a good and strong written skills are essential.... >>> (verb agreement/ wrong article)
    11) deliver message >>> (count nouns require an article in this situation)

    All in all I'd suggest that your writing in this letter is weak because you don't edit for silly mistakes.

    Let's work on this.

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownSeptember 29, 2017 at 5:59 AM

      Dear Professor Brad,

      Thanks for your advice on how to improve my grammar. I will work on it. Appreciate it!

      Thank you.

      Yours sincerely,
      Goh Xin Chun

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

AutoWiz

According to Tyagi (2016), the product AutoWiz, which was developed by SenSight Technologies is a telematics solution that tracks a vehicle’s location and provides behavioral analytics on the user’s driving patterns while offering diagnostics on the vehicle remotely. Touted to be an intuitive product, AutoWiz will collect and feed data into the cloud when plugged into the OBD-II port of a vehicle. The user can then launch a dashboard on the AutoWiz mobile app, which displays the analyzed data. The AutoWiz app is supposed to allow the user to track a vehicle’s actual position in real-time with notifications, while updating the user on key engine diagnostic data such as coolant temperature to mitigate breakdowns. Furthermore, AutoWiz provides an anti-theft alarm feature which notifies the user in the event of a mishap. Finally, AutoWiz promotes improvement in a user’s driving habits by providing trip statistics and regular performance reviews. However, it is noted in the review that th
Read more

Product Summary | LMU-3030

Image
CalAmp LMU-3030 The CalAmp LMU-3000 series OBD-II tracking device features industry leading technologies which enables users to monitor their vehicles over-the-air through passive mobile network communication. This device enables users to view data pertaining to their vehicle remotely, giving vehicle owners a better understanding of their vehicle. This data allows users to perform preventive maintenance on their vehicle such as periodic battery replacement in order to minimize risk of failure on the road. The uses of data collected from the LMU-3000 extends even to allowing users to understand check engine lights(CEL) that pop-up on the vehicle’s dashboard occasionally by describing in detail the symptom that has occurred. Rental firms also benefit in that they are able to monitor vehicular movement and driving patterns observed by the device so that they are better informed on the status of their vehicles. In the unfortunate event of a collision, the LMU-3000 is also capab
Read more